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addiction
July 2007 
On being happy
Posted on Jun 25th, 2007
by 
Eric
Eric
By the way? I'm unreasonably happy with my life. I left my parents' grasp when I was about 16 and until my daughter was born (when I was 20) things have been pretty rocky. Various addictive type problems, lots of trouble settling my mind on any particular thing, working through various psychological trip-ups... it's not been smooth sailing. When I turned I guess around 25, things started to improve dramatically. Why?
Because I stopped letting myself think that I have all the time in the world to become the person I want to be. I have THINGS TO DO. I can do good in this world - lots of it. The most selfish possible thing I can imagine is letting myself drown in my own inability to get over myself. My father was a dick - so what? People have variously abused, looked down on, oppressed and despised me - so what? I'm over it. Really. I'm blessed with the ability to just absolutely be over things - rapidly. I observe them, I consider them, I dwell on them for a bit, and then I forget them. In-n-out. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I stopped abdicating responsibility. I stopped letting my emotional state have primacy over my spirit. I started listening to God - even before I called it God. I started taking very seriously the prospect that I am being guided through this life by something (internal, external, eternal, whatever) and started listening to that guidance.
I also stopped drinking, stopped eating and drinking things that were bad for me, and started loving my neighbor as myself. It was all remarkably freaking easy. Why? Because I let it be.
So, my advice to you?
Get out of your way. You're trying to get things done here. And if you don't think it's that easy, you're kidding yourself.
Get. out. of. your. way.
How does that work? Like this. Take something you're struggling with. My most recent? Drinking (stopped November 2006 cold turkey without looking back). So, take drinking. Alcohol is fun. Lots of people drink (especially my friends). Drinking is a socially acceptable way to act like an idiot. Along with, like, football and politics. Alcohol is advertised all over the place, it's really hard to avoid. If you're in a group of people like I was, it's also hard to avoid because people you really like use it for just about everything. I also have a long long history of addiction issues, although I've always managed to avoid disaster (though I did not avoid jail, homelessness and general stupidity). I also have a family history of alcoholism - on both sides, way back. So, not an easy one - right?
WRONG. What did it take? Deciding that I wanted to be the best person I want to be and that alcohol was preventing that. Why was it? Because it costs money, because it participates in causing me to do things that I wouldn't otherwise do, because it dampens down the voice of God, because it hurts my body, because no matter what any of us like to think it does, does, does negatively impact our ability to reason... the list goes on. It wasn't good for me, it was preventing my easy access to God, to my family, to myself, to my body. I knew that. But the crucial bit was saying to myself, "Hey - you're actually just a whole lot better than this."
And so I am. So it changed. That's just one example. It doesn't mean I'm perfect - far from it. It doesn't mean I don't struggle. But the struggle is ACTIVE. I look my problems in the face, I look beyond them to the person I will be when I overcome them, and I fight. I'm stronger for it, and happier for it.
Ain't that swell?
e
Because I stopped letting myself think that I have all the time in the world to become the person I want to be. I have THINGS TO DO. I can do good in this world - lots of it. The most selfish possible thing I can imagine is letting myself drown in my own inability to get over myself. My father was a dick - so what? People have variously abused, looked down on, oppressed and despised me - so what? I'm over it. Really. I'm blessed with the ability to just absolutely be over things - rapidly. I observe them, I consider them, I dwell on them for a bit, and then I forget them. In-n-out. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I stopped abdicating responsibility. I stopped letting my emotional state have primacy over my spirit. I started listening to God - even before I called it God. I started taking very seriously the prospect that I am being guided through this life by something (internal, external, eternal, whatever) and started listening to that guidance.
I also stopped drinking, stopped eating and drinking things that were bad for me, and started loving my neighbor as myself. It was all remarkably freaking easy. Why? Because I let it be.
So, my advice to you?
Get out of your way. You're trying to get things done here. And if you don't think it's that easy, you're kidding yourself.
Get. out. of. your. way.
How does that work? Like this. Take something you're struggling with. My most recent? Drinking (stopped November 2006 cold turkey without looking back). So, take drinking. Alcohol is fun. Lots of people drink (especially my friends). Drinking is a socially acceptable way to act like an idiot. Along with, like, football and politics. Alcohol is advertised all over the place, it's really hard to avoid. If you're in a group of people like I was, it's also hard to avoid because people you really like use it for just about everything. I also have a long long history of addiction issues, although I've always managed to avoid disaster (though I did not avoid jail, homelessness and general stupidity). I also have a family history of alcoholism - on both sides, way back. So, not an easy one - right?
WRONG. What did it take? Deciding that I wanted to be the best person I want to be and that alcohol was preventing that. Why was it? Because it costs money, because it participates in causing me to do things that I wouldn't otherwise do, because it dampens down the voice of God, because it hurts my body, because no matter what any of us like to think it does, does, does negatively impact our ability to reason... the list goes on. It wasn't good for me, it was preventing my easy access to God, to my family, to myself, to my body. I knew that. But the crucial bit was saying to myself, "Hey - you're actually just a whole lot better than this."
And so I am. So it changed. That's just one example. It doesn't mean I'm perfect - far from it. It doesn't mean I don't struggle. But the struggle is ACTIVE. I look my problems in the face, I look beyond them to the person I will be when I overcome them, and I fight. I'm stronger for it, and happier for it.
Ain't that swell?
e
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